The Talker

The TalkerThe Talker (Prior to 200 dates)

I met up with this girl for drinks at a sushi bar in Scottsdale. It was our first date and the woman was completely mesmerizing, not by her beauty, but by her verbal skills. She talked nonstop for over an hour. Seriously! No breaks or distinct pauses, just a constant stream of noise. I didn’t say a word other than ordering a drink and grunting a few times. This was pure torture and yet, I was strangely amazed that someone could carry on for such a long period of time.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t find a pause to break in to the conversation. After an hour of hearing about the new Mercedes she wants to buy and her daddy’s company where she works and doesn’t get any respect, I finally made eye contacted with the waitress and called her over with a look of desperation. The waitress walked over and said, “I hate to interrupt what looks like an intense conversation, but I wanted to know if you wanted anything else before I leave.” I said, “We are set, can I just grab the check.” The waitress and I looked at each other and smirked. This didn’t go unnoticed by my date, who angrily said, “I can’t believe you are flirting right in the middle of our date.” She was clearly upset and told me, “I have no time for people who play games.” I had a completely reactionary response, so without thinking I blurted out, “Well, you’d have more time if you stopped talking so much.” That did it, a switch flipped in her head and I could see the rage in her eyes. Her face wrinkled like a prune and I knew it was going to get ugly. She grabbed the glass of water and gave what had to be the worst attempt in the history of throwing a drink in someone’s face. Not only did every drop of water miss me, but the glass also slipped out of her hand and was launched into the side of a fish tank. I stared at her in complete disbelief as she ran out of the bar muttering to herself. I couldn’t help but think, “She’s still talking, unbelievable!”

Categories: Bad Date Stories

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