Chipotle Blackout

Date #46: The Chipotle BlackoutChipotle

There is too much energy and then there is too little. I had a good first date and I am in-between a second. There isn’t enough time to shoot home so I decide to grab a late lunch. I haven’t eaten breakfast and I am generally a hungry person. I can eat a tremendous amount of food so it being around 2:00 PM and I haven’t eaten yet my body seems angry. I head to one of my favorite casual dining experiences, the wonderful world of Chipotle. I get two chicken burritos and take a seat. I eat the first one so fast I don’t even remember taking a bite. The second burrito goes down a little slower, but it’s so delicious I have to get another. I feel bad as I head to the front of the line and order again. It’s an off hour so the store wasn’t very busy and the counter guy remembers me. He says wow you are hungry today and I’m embarrassed so I nod hopping to get through the assembly line of burrito deliciousness as quickly as possible. Finally, I sit down again and the burrito seems to fall down my throat so effortlessly. I’m not sure I even chewed. I think about getting another and then the shame of eating a forth and having to justify to myself how consuming 4000 calories in one meal and spending $30 alone at a fast food place would make me feel. I didn’t go for the forth, but made a point to revisit chipotle the next day. Yes, I probably need some sort of 12 step program to handle my Chipotle addiction, but that is just the beginning of the story.

I finally make it to my next date and the burritos aren’t getting along. Apparently one burrito is fine, but if you put two or three together in one belly, they start lashing out at each other. There is a full out war going on in my stomach and I haven’t even began the date. We sit down and I grab a drink which isn’t going down at all. We start talking and I ask her some questions and she starts talking. At this point, I’m pouring with sweat. The sun beating in through the glass is compounded by the hot sauce coursing through my veins and it’s killing me. My eyes are getting sleepy and my eyelids feel like a hundred pounds. So I close one and turn my head so she doesn’t notice and then the second close. I’m sleeping and then a couple of coughs later and I wake up like an explosion. The adrenaline rushes through me and at once I realize what happened. She starts laughing and asks me if I think she is boring. I stop her and explain how much I ate and it has put me in thanksgiving-like coma. She works for the zoo so I mention how the lions eat and then take naps. It is human nature to do the same. I kept working and somehow made a full recovery.  She said that was a first and I said now she has a great story to tell. I felt really bad after that date.

Categories: Bad Date Stories

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